Rants.

2010-07-24T05:33:00.005+08:00

This blog will stop at the 205th post.

Moved to Http://istolethemoonlastnight.tumblr.com

Bye blogger.

2010-07-22T17:28:00.002+08:00

Do you know how it feels to be stuck somewhere? Ahead of you is a route that you don't want to walk at all but you aren't given any "choice". You want to end things so you have to take this "choice". You know how much I dread this path? So much so that I rather be stuck here rather than to walk on.

I finally got a taste of a real breakdown. It can't be explained in words. No words can describe how I'm feeling now.

To me, it's just a torture.

Happiness? Don't kid me.

2010-07-21T08:47:00.002+08:00

Omggggg. Goddddd, can you please please save me? I've asked fairy godmother, fairy godfather, tooth fairy, the deities, the ghosts, the ants, the caterpillars and anything you can think of but none is willing to help me :(

Or is it because you can't wait to see me in the mental hospital? :((( or maybe the least someone can help me is to book a nice room in imh for me?

Okay maybe I should start writing a goodbye letter to my parents. I've been such an unfillial child. :((((

Oh welllllll, seems like god is still adamant in helping me. What else can I do? Bang the wall? Cry myself blind? Jump into the sea to feed the crocodiles?

Oh goddddddd. Save me!

To Maine:)

2010-07-20T11:46:00.003+08:00

Thank you Maine, i can say with no hesitation that you're irreplaceable in my heart:)

Without you, I don't know how my life will be. I don't know who I'll show my feelings to and I don't know who will bitch with me:)

I know this is random but I really thank god that I've you and it doesn't matter how long we can continue this way.

Whatever it is, I just want to say I love you, bitch:)

2010-07-18T12:29:00.004+08:00

So terrible. So so terrible.

Dear diary,

I'm feeling so so terrible; almost to the brink of breaking down. I'm breaking down. I'm afraid. I can no longer feel myself. I can no longer feel my emotions. I can no longer feel myself. No difference from a walking corpse.

This two weeks is gonna be real real tough for me. All I can do is to accept. I'm suffocating. The feeling of killing me halfway really sucks. I'm so so tired. But what can I do?

Nobody can save me. Nobody.

because boy, you didn't realise that every little thing you ask from me is killing me.

2010-07-17T23:56:00.002+08:00

When god hit you with a stone and you don't reciprocate, god hits you with a brick; and when you still don't reciprocate, god hits you with a boulder.

And this time, god hit me with a boulder. It's really time to wake the damn idea up because humans are born into this world alone and will leave this world alone. Forcing them to stick to another will only kill them.

My life has never been as miserable as the past few days as I screamed the meanest things and flared like I never did before. I have never felt so desperate. So so desperate to leave. So so desperate to get out of this, get out of everything. So suffocated that all you're allowed to do is barely breathe. Being forced into inhumanity whereby nothing mattered. It didn't matter what you're saying throws a thousand knives straight to someone else's heart. It didn't matter what you're saying hurts him so much that he'll never forget in this lifetime.

This just shows what human beings are capable of when they are being forced to a dead end.

The past entire week has been so torturous and taxing that I can barely feel myself. All I know is that I'm still breathing. All these things will be kept in my brain as much as I wish to forget. But it also serves as a reminder to me. A reminder to never fall into it anymore. To truly wake that damn idea up and not fall into it anymore.

Because,

Love is bullshit. It's crap. Human beings are just in love with the idea of being in love and nothing else. Why do people get married? Companionship. They don't want to age alone. They don't want to have no support when they're old. They're afraid of being as cranky as those old unmarried people whom they see. And in return for the companionship and support, people sacrifice things. Some sacrifice their dreams, some sacrifice their freedom and some sacrifice themselves for when they compromise, they are no longer themselves. It's a someone else whom they become to stay in harmony with the other party. And it's a lifetime sacrifice because a marriage don't stop at 10 or even 100 quarrels. Its a vicious cycle. Human beings just want companions. Full stop.

For now, I just want to end things, stop my pace and think about my life. For I'm no longer a student. I cannot just let time pass.

I need to be alone.

Life.

2010-06-28T06:33:00.003+08:00

Haven't been blogging for quite awhile now. About half of 2010 has passed and looking back to my 2010 resolution, what have I done? Seems like none.

But there are a few that I must at least start/achieve before the start of 2011.

1) Learn Spanish

2) More locking and rest of the dance styles

3) 4kg

It's only this 3 and I WILL ~~hope that I'll~~ be able to do it.

Life is becoming more and more like a routine and I'm struggling to find something to look forward to. As my brain talks to my heart for some therapy, I'm also struggling to stay positive. Now why is it so hard to stay positive? Yes, the good will prevail but it's such a depressing process as your heart switches between positivity and negativity. I need constant sources of i nspiration and the current one is this:说好话，做好事，存好心.

Inspirating isn't it? Say the right things, do the right things, store goodwill. What's life without these?

On the other note, I found a really good way to force tasteless water down my throat. Throw in a handful of berries and tadah, it becomes tasteless water with a tinge of blueberry making it drinkable. As magical as sensodyne (:

Thats all. Haven't slept since the Argentina and Mexico match. Will be looking forward to Spain's.

Till then.

History.

2010-06-05T12:01:00.002+08:00

I'm trying hard, trying real hard to not let history repeat itself. It's hard. It ain't easy.

The sky's crying.

Hush hush.

point of balance.

2010-05-29T07:23:00.002+08:00

I'm starting to lose that point of balance. It ain't anybody's fault. It's just the inner devil in me merrily sabotaging everything. I need to find back that point of balance, before everything crashes.

All I need is inspiration.

Mr candida, I'm coming for you!

2010-05-28T03:16:00.004+08:00

"True love is something that will never grow in a jealous heart." This quote made my day as my brain struggles to recollect the outstanding matters from my never ending list of complains.

Work has only started for a week and I'm already worn out. Lousy or what? But it certainly isn't easy to maintain 4 libraries at a go when all you have in your brain is pieces of information from school. But I ain't giving up. I must prove my determination and perseverance. Entering the work force always changes a person and I must not be changed negatively. The hardest thing to do in life is to, remain unchanged.

Apart from work, life has been normal. The only difference is that Mr. Candida is rapidly growing in me and my weight has been constantly going up. In short, Candida is a yeast which is in all earthlings. Candida is one of the indirect cause to weight gain and I'm so going to kill the Candidas in me!

Thats about all of the soul-ess life that I've been living ever since I sold it. However, I'm glad that the gaypurpledino's in my life now (:

Till then, bye earthlings!

Goodbye singapore!

2010-05-03T23:48:00.003+08:00

Goodbye to singapore in advance, since I won't have the time to blog tomorrow morning (:

How time flies. Just half a year ago, we were still in the classroom checking for infomation during lecture time. And now, half a year later, we're flying off! But I kind of dread; I dread the start of the realistic phase of my life. Premas accepted me; and it'll be a 2 years contract. I really really don't know if this is what I want. What i know is, this is what my parents want. What can i do?

Oh well, I'll just take this 8days as a break and when I'm back, I'll be all ready to accept whatever that's gonna come along.

Till then, I'll be missing many people.

Goodbye! (:

I surrender.

2010-04-30T21:57:00.003+08:00

The more two human beings gets in contact, the more conflicts there will be. So sick of such conflicts. Seriously. Why can't things just be simpler?

I throw in the white towel. I surrender. I really cannot comprehend you.

i should face the mirror soon. I need to know what went wrong.

Apples.

2010-04-25T19:27:00.002+08:00

I'm running out of apples. I need some apples. When you give too many apples away and leave none for yourself, everything crashes.

Extraordinary

2010-04-24T16:24:00.003+08:00

It's another 2 off days since the R&D department decided to close for 2 days (: But there goes OT pay for the week.

Have been thinking real real hard about what I want to do in the future. I don't want to sell my soul to any job and just work and work till I die. I want something different. Something that I'll be happy doing.

FM job is out of the league for now, affirmative. I'm kind of puzzled with myself as well. A span of a few weeks and things changed; the path that I planned for myself is no longer what I want.

If only..

my blog's finally finally featuring clara.

2010-04-22T15:43:00.001+08:00

Okay I'm the last one to blog about this. But I'm still gonna blog about it anyway (:

Apart from maine whom I see everyday, evelyn whom I just met a few weeks ago, I haven't seen clara for ages. What is something we never fail to do when we meet up? Take pictures? Yes, take pictures (:

We need more of such, and really more. This weekend perhaps, since the rest days are suddenly changed to saturday and sunday for the week. Can't wait to get back my human life.

Work will be ending very soon. TW trip coming even sooooner (:

Till then,

Goodbye.

2010-04-15T06:38:00.003+08:00

Just a random picture to make my post more picture-ful. How I miss Australia.

It's my off day yet I'm not sleeping. 6plus in the morning and I can't go back to sleep.

Life has been quite routine recently. Just eat, sleep and work. Work has been alright apart from the irritating mosquito buzzing around. It has also been a long time since I worked together with maine (:

Another 2 weeks and I'll be flying off to taiwan! Together with me pandas and pee. Can't wait!

Okay, nothing much to blog about already.

3 minute temperament; too many of it.

and.. you're officially out of my life. I won't be keeping all the memories. I'm moving on.

Goodbye.

2010-04-12T10:06:00.004+08:00

I'm emotional again. When you hear a sad story, it's hard not to feel for it. Life is just so unpredictable. Human beings actually don't own anything. Whatever you have, is not yours if god decides to take it away. That's a harsh fact to accept but we all have to. What can you do if you just get into an accident and be crippled when you were all able and jumping around a minute ago?

Helpless, hopeless and countless of breakdowns. All you can do is to hang on to any glimpse of hope you have and continue life.

For a moment, I wondered how it would be if god were to decide to take away the legs that he gave me. I can't imagine at all.

Well I guess I shouldn't get too emotional.

Goodnight world.

Night falls.

2010-04-09T17:28:00.004+08:00

I officially started my first ever night shift job yesterday and it was.. cool. I kind of like it actually, tho I'm literally like a walking dead panda. The job itself is kind of boring but the positive thing is the people around. Cute aunties and generally nice people (:

In case you're wondering what I do for work, I deal with sanitary pads! New ones of course. Thats all I can say. Since I'm bounded by an agreement to keep everything I do discreet :/ Else, I would really love to share. It's really interesting actually.

Apart from the nice people, I personally like night shift as well. It feels like we're all in camp.

Right, time to prepare for work again. Hope the new comers today will be friendly!

*Oh and I'm super addicted to the song on my blog. Super nice!

my blog's finally featuring evelyn.

2010-04-07T07:36:00.003+08:00

This is the best photo I can find.

And this is my crazy pretty girl whom no one just seems to know how to appreciate.

Shopped with maine and evelyn (: Finally got to date evelyn the busy girl. Don't know when's the next time tho. Maybe when clara's back.

I'm still clinging onto the impossible; unknowingly. That very path, that very day, I'll always remember.

Moving on.

2010-04-03T10:14:00.004+08:00

Yes, I'm not looking back anymore. I feel great (: Tried too hard, maybe.

Right, went on another date with maine yesterday since evelyn and clara wasn't free. Singles are the easiest to date (:

Hi there. This is maine, my pretty girl (:

I couldn't resist but take a shot of a view I liked.

Don't curse me if you were the one waiting outside the changing room (:

Hope I'll be able to date the other two out sooooon.

On the other note, I'm finally done with the receptionist job. The measly pay seriously ain't enough. Pray hard that I get a job soon. Tho my dad said he'd spon me a little and asked me to take a break. How sweet (:

Bye earthlings.

Inspired.

2010-03-30T09:55:00.003+08:00

Don't do things because you need to.

Don't do things because you have to.

Don't do things that doesn't speak your mind.

Because you're only at your greatest when you seek your true desires.

Because you're only at your prettiest when you dress your mind.

Because that's where the purest of human lies.

Inspired by many things recently. I feel empowered. I feel great.

You can't live life without inspiration (:

2010-03-29T21:45:00.003+08:00

Pretty contented with the less complicated life of mine.

Work's suppose to end on wednesday but I verbally agreed to work for another month. Right, I would have rejected the offer straight away if not for the tw trip coming in a month's time. Actually, the job's not too tough if they'd tell me more things. And actually, the job's perfect if the pay isn't so pathetic. Lol.

Alright, I'll just hope I don't make the wrong choice of work. And I guess that's all about my life. It's just sleep, eat, work, eat, sleep.

Storyboard

2010-03-27T07:13:00.002+08:00

I hope, the drama will end as the drama filled march ends in a few days. It was all in a span of less than 2 weeks.

We all made mistakes, everyone erred. Nevertheless, we all learn from it.

Personally, I got to see many sides of human including my own. Humans are just so ugly at times. I know what I should learn from this and hopefully nothing of such sort will happen again.

Lastly, I LOVE YOU LA JEMAINE (:

It's during such times that you see more things than you usually see.

you're exceptional (:

2010-03-26T09:35:00.000+08:00

Happy - Leona Lewis

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can't have everything
Don't you take chances
Might feel the pain
Don't you love in vain
Cause love won't set you free
I can't stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
Just can't let it go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear, ohh
But all these days, they feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me out of here
I can't stand by your side, ohh no
And watch this life pass me by, pass me by

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, ohh, happy, ohh

So any turns that I can't see,
like I'm a stranger on this road
But don't say victim
Don't say anything

So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me

I just wanna be happy
Ohh, yeah, happy, ohh, happy
I just wanna be, ohh
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, happy

2010-03-25T23:24:00.002+08:00

Dear diary,

I'm so tired. I don't want to put on the happy mask anymore. I'm sick of acting like I'm okay when I'm not. And why are the things becoming more and more complicated? Deception, truth, deception, truth. Which is it?

Dear diary, can you tell me what else I can do? I'm just so tired of everything.

I need to breakaway.

2010-03-24T19:16:00.001+08:00

I'LL BE OKAY. THERE'LL BE SUNSHINE AFTER RAIN (:

2010-03-23T21:48:00.002+08:00

In the end, we still have to bid goodbye. I don't want to accept it. No I don't. But what can I do? What else can I do?

I guess all I can do is to put on my happy mask and continue with life. Maybe someone should just stab my heart dead so it won't have to feel anything.

It's gone. Everything's gone.

And I guess I'll be missing for awhile.

bye.. earthings..

2010-03-23T11:24:00.003+08:00

Just when I thought... but it's going to be gone soon. I've so many just when I thought in my head right now but it's all going to be gone.

If given a choice, I never want to say what I've said but I have neither the strength or power to hold on to it. I'm not strong enough. If you'd say forget it, we'll all forget it.

Life is like this. It's all fated.

We'll bid goodbye if we have to.

Helpless

2010-03-21T09:26:00.003+08:00

I sat there. I listened. I was at a loss. My mind was in a blank. I didn't know what to say. I felt so helpless. There's nothing I can help at all.

Sometimes, life just change and all you can do is to accept. But that's life. You're sad, you break down and you pick yourself up. Maybe you'd fail for a few times but you'll still pick yourself up eventually.

As much as I always say I take things in my stride, I'm always escaping as well. When something happens, i choose not to think about it. I choose to escape from things. I have always put up a strong front. Sometimes so strong that I'm labelled as heartless. After putting on the happy mask for so long, I'm already unable to differentiate whether it is genuine happiness.

I feel so weak. I need inspiration. I need to be stronger.

Cold, rainy day.

2010-03-20T12:14:00.002+08:00

Everytime it rains, it feels like the sky is crying.

I've been breathing with a heavy heart since this morning and I still am. I feel lost. I feel suffocated, I feel lost.

I just can't control myself; I'm sorry.

2010-03-18T22:21:00.002+08:00

Okay I finally have the time to update AGAIN. Just came back from a meetup session with maine and nvmbr. Damn tired. And I swear I've never flip as much newspaper as I flipped these two days. I spent god knows how many hours flipping the papers looking for articles. It's total madness.

But the worst thing is the people there. The people are actually at their desk but simply refuse to answer the calls that I transfer. When I call them back in about few minutes/seconds, they can pick up so promptly -.- only. Makes my job more difficult la. And I'm on standby tomorrow. Meaning, I've to wake up early to wait for their call. Lol. Great. Just when I thought I could rest, I got to be on standby =/

And I'm so so tired now. I should sleep soon and pray hard they don't call me to work.

Goodnight people.

2010-03-16T06:51:00.007+08:00

I finally have the time to blog again. I've been working like crazy recently. Ask me where I'm? Working.

IT show ended with a blast. Apart from the bittergourd and sour legs, IT show's fun. The people there are fun and enthusiastic. Made new friends :D But the people there either thought I'm from china or malaysia. Like -.- only. Since I'm yuanyuan, I was made in china, flew to malaysia and born in singapore (joke with wh) Lol. That aside, the most important thing is the pay! Which will be arriving in one or two weeks. Can't wait can't wait :D (Can you sense how broke I'm? HAHA)

4 days of IT show ended just like that and I'm on a new job assignment now. Something that I've never tried before. Receptionist! First day of work. I answered 10 over calls, booked a cab for one of the big shot, gave out the letters, guide the job candidate and lastly, STONE. Lol. Even the GM said I'm too slack :x Easy job actually. All I've to do is to transfer calls. Heh. But the arrangement is so messy. Nobody knows exactly whether I've to work or not. So -.- Since 16th isn't stated in the schedule, I'm taking it as I don't have to work! Not my fault uh :x

And i'm feeling so tired now. Caught the movie happy go lucky with weihuang and hebin after work and woke up at 5am earlier to catch second half of Liverpool vs Portmouth. The movie's not bad. Totally singapore style. More for the casino actually. For the avid gamblers. Haha. As for Liverpool, I'm overjoyed! Their passing and chemistry's great. Just great. They've got to display this on sunday against man u! I'll be looking forward :D

Okay thats all for the updates. I hope I'll be able to slack the whole/half of april after working hard for the whole of march.

Lastly, I'm missing many people now :( I haven't met evelyn, clara and jemaine for ages. I couldn't make it to meet pee, panda and beep (and shiro) for majong. The short sakae session with xinmin and lici (shida's didn't even go) wasn't enough and I miss my pretty/crazy/no sense of direction cousin as well. And I don't even know when I can date darling qinfei out also :((((((

Money la. Money is the root of all evil :(

*Edit

Rahh. Lousy co-ordination between agent and client la seriously. They didn't even state 16th and now at 7plus then say need to work. -.- Tried to contact the client to confirm if I need to work, no reply. What kind of arrangement is this man. Worst that I've seen. Zz. Still say settle for me. Like it's not my fault can! I asked so early yesterday and nobody said anything. Rahhhhh. Mood spoiler!

2010-03-14T00:26:00.003+08:00

I swear it's damn sian to work with a bitter gourd everyday. Yes the ultimate bitter gourd! Try to imagine that. She gives you the you-owe-her 10million bucks face EVERY SINGLE DAY. It sucks even more when she is the cashier. Every time you sell something, you gotta talk to the bitter gourd.

And everytime, the bitter gourd gives you the very irritating face that you really feel like strangling her or punching her face. She has got very serious attitude problem. She don't even smile to customers. Lol. Her life is so sad seriously. What is life when your face is like that everyday. It's okay. I'm not going to see her anymore.

Facing the bitter gourd everyday is harmful to health!

Goodnight earthlings.

2010-03-10T20:34:00.003+08:00

Third day of hell week is over! I'm left with 4days! And work starts tomorrow. I kind of dread it. Trying to find something to look forward to but can't seem to. I'll just take it as training my legs. Upgrade from iron to steel. Lol.

And just when I thought fyp is officially over, it's not! Yet another round of presentation. To someone of higher rank now. Not cool. But i can't deny that I've learnt a lot! From the experienced working adult's point of views to shooting one another in a very nice way! I really must learn how to read in between words more man. Serious. So many daggers in the smiles. I better not say too much here tho.

Work will commerce tomorrow. Means $$$$$ will roll into my pocket soon. Heh. I hope i'll still survive after this four days. It's gonna be tough so wish me luck, give me your energy, pray for me. Lol. I think I'm going crazy with so many things on my brain. I need to do a to-do list so that i don't leave out anything.

And life's really a bitch. Before I even go to work, I'm already dreading the politics. Life's already a chore. Why do people still want to do such stunts? It must be the hands of god. Hahahahaha. I'm trying to stay positive from all the negativity. I should start to stick diamond all around me. Arrows and daggers are coming from all directions!

I actually want to upload photos, but it's not with me. I'll upload when lici sends me.

bye earthings.

A week of hell.

2010-03-08T22:18:00.005+08:00

Yes I'll be having a week of hell. Or rather the week of hell has already started.

I've already got through the 9am-4pm hell lecture and attended the job training which i initially had problems attending in addition to the lecture. So i'm glad things went the right way.

There'll be a 9am-12pm lecture followed by a fyp meeting tomorrow. Yes fyp meeting to prepare for the presentation the next day. Everything's still not sort out yet, as in the proper powerpoint slides, content and the flow of the presentation. Two groups to present as one is another headache considering the fact that we don't know each other's working style. Everything doesn't sound very good, does it?

So wednesday would be the presentation and hopefully fyp ends there. IT MUST END. I don't want to waste my time, energy and efforts on something which doesn't benefit me anymore. Well just when one goes, another comes. I shouldn't be complaining much anyway but working is never fun apart from payday. So it'll be 4 or maybe 1 day at the IT fair. Why 1? Because the person told us all that if we don't perform up to standard, we can stay home to sleep the next day. Hahahaha. I don't really care actually, cause i'm quite sure I won't be the one. *fingers crossed.

After the IT show, I'll need to find a job urgently to fund my taiwan trip. The company C** (you all should know what company i'm referring to) only employs C with superb results. Though i fulfill the first, i fail the latter. Which explains why both nanabanana and I are still desperately looking for a job. Well, what to do. Blame it on my lousy results! Just hope I can find some temp job to fund my trip.

I guess that's all for the concerns for now. Another big concern will come after the taiwan trip. Meanwhile, my mind's set on fulfilling one of my resolutions for the year; picking up a new language. It will have to be Spanish. Please don't immediately link it to fernando torres. There isn't much link. I googled a little before deciding on Spanish. Main reason's that it's the third mostly used language apart from Mandarin and English. I guess I'll start off by reading it's history and background and hopefully find some useful web for more information.

The next thing to be done is to get a tuner for my guitar. It's badly out of tune in my opinion. I need to get on it before it gets rusty.

Okay last but not least, I'm gonna catch liverpool vs wigan later on. And I created a liverpool mailer. I don't know what i'll use that for though. khq-grace@liverpoolfc.net.

I don't have to go around telling people that I'm a supporter of liverpool because the email address shouts "I'm a liverpool fan!"

Okay i've blogged quite abit today. I hope there'll be pictures in the next entry.

Bye earthings.

what's life?

2010-03-07T00:59:00.003+08:00

There are certain blogs that I would visit almost everyday. Some makes me smile and some makes me frown. But they all make me ponder about life. What actually is the meaning of life? Why do people do certain things?

I'm still trying to find the meaning of my life. What is it that I want to accomplish before I step into the graveyard? I could walk to school one day feeling contented because the sun's shining on me and another day feeling irritated because the sun's shining right into my eye. I'd love to appreciate everything around me everyday but sometimes it's just not possible.

Or maybe god made it such that all human beings will only know their meaning of life at their deathbed. It's only at your deathbed that you see things crystal clear.

I'm going to bed. I've killed a lot of brain cells already.

Goodnight world.

2010-03-06T04:25:00.005+08:00

I have to post this! Torres and Riera fighting for food. This vid made me laughed so hard. HAHAHA.

It's actually Riera's sandwich and Torres wanted to eat it all. It's not YNWA for them but YNEA (You'll never eat alone) HAHAHA. According to some comment at youtube, Riera said "Hijopvta" which means "son of a bitch".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Graduated? Not.

2010-03-05T10:31:00.003+08:00

EXAMS ENDED! But not fyp.

I still have fyp presentation on hand which i seriously think it's a waste of time. It doesn't contribute anything to my fyp grade. (At this age, you'd probably lose or have already lost the passion to do things that doesn't benefit you)

And I don't think I've much to blog about actually. I've been autistic talking to myself all the time for the last two weeks. What to do, if I don't read aloud, i can't memorise.

Apart from the autistic life I've had the past two weeks, I've been watching quite abit of football. I find myself pressing 27 more and more often now. And my favourite team for world cup is SPAIN. Spain, ftw! Maybe fernando torres was one of the reason that I wanted to support spain but most importantly, spain is a good team. And i said was because I wanted to support spain since last year October according to my blog entries.

Nothing much about the autistic life already.

Bye earthlings.

2010-02-28T21:29:00.002+08:00

I need a breather; i need to breathe.

I'm studying with a very very heavy heart; because i failed to study on both friday and saturday. Fever and headache struck me on Friday and I just felt very very tired for the whole of saturday. So this means that i've not memorized much of property law. I'm sure this will make py and deb's jaw drop.

I swear i had a hard time fighting the sleep disease. I had to force myself to stay awake. I don't know what's the matter with me seriously. I swear I didn't procastinate today. I was spending most of the time fighting the very tired feeling.

Okay I'm going back to study before I catch liverpool vs blackburn later on.

2010-02-18T23:45:00.003+08:00

Quantity surveyor option = Quantity surveyor

Quantity surveyor option = Property officer

You get my equation?

If you don't, let me enlighten you. The job I interviewed for one month back, which specifically asked for property officer (which is what i specialise in), hired the QS people instead of the PFM people.

Great? Great.

It means that I've to start sending out resumes again.

Chill out

2010-02-17T10:52:00.002+08:00

Satanism signs keep recurring in my brain. Thanks to lady gaga and her video -.- Chilled with nvmbr, joel and my twin.

The session bought back many fond memories. Love heart to heart talks. More please (:

cny day 2 (with pictures)

2010-02-16T09:26:00.004+08:00

I did nothing but gamble for the whole of day 2. I started with 2bucks and i ended first round with 2 bucks. Which means i played for hours with zero profit/loss.

Second round was shorter but at least I won. The game in between is really an evil game. We all started with 10cents each in the bank (which meant 80cents in the bank initially) and because of greediness, the bank grew to at least 50bucks at one time. You can imagine how greedy we were as well as how suay we were. My luck for that was really bad. But after playing for i-dont-know-how-long, my chances came. It was an ace and queen. I was hesitating till my bro said he'll take the risk with me. Meaning if it was double, he would pay half. But i guess luck was with us. So we took half of the bank each :D

The pictures are below. Was dragged to take pictures with my very sleepy face.

The difference between this and the one below is that one has my brother and one doesn't. Lol

Left to right: My cousin's bf, my cousin, my cousin's cousin, my cousin's cousin, my cousin and my cousin's bf. Lol.

But end of day 2 means.. TIME TO START STUDYING FOR EXAMS -.-

cny day 1

2010-02-15T08:52:00.002+08:00

Chinese new year day one. As usual, went to the paternal side and had vegetarian food for lunch. Never changing. Cuzzies taught me how to play mj but i don't think i can remember. Hahahaha. After that we literally do nothing just asking each other what to do next. lol. Then as usual again, ate dinner and do nothing again. Lol. Left about 9plus and reach home about 10plus.

My pretty cuzzie's in the toilet and we didn't take with her :(

Sunflower (:

That's about all for day 1. Didn't take much pictures :(

sugar rush

2010-02-13T08:29:00.007+08:00

Why sugar rush? Because we shopped damn last minute yesterday. Thanks to jemaine. Hahaha.

I went to collect the top i bought online first and i totally loveeee it. Maine bought a oriental pants from far east which i totally loveeee and I bought a simple top which i totally loveeee as well. Hahahahaha. Very long since I shop with her. But it's even longer since i shop with evelyn and clara =/

My pretty girl :D

Yea I'm lazy to upload all. Going for sugar rush part two later on :D

I shall dedicate the last part to my love.

See panda. This is how much i love you! Heh.

Happy chinese new year earthlings!

to my beloved SLOIBS

2010-02-12T06:50:00.008+08:00

It's very very early in the morning now and I'm wide awake. And the first thing my dad said to me was "tidy your stuff hor". Hahahahahaha. I don't deny I'm a messy person. I leave my things everywhere and you'll see me searching high and low for my things. Hahahaha.

Actually I wanted to DEDICATE this post to my beloved SLOIBS.

The start for us was really awkward. I wasn't really close to pee and beepanda despite the aussie trip and I have never talked to nanabanana for the first two years of poly life and pee and beepanda wasn't close to nanabanana as well. This is how we started off. You can try to imagine it. Group work was draggy and discussions were weird because we didn't know each other's working style. Language was also a problem as we were used to conversing in mandarin and neglected nanabanana. This is how bad things were at the start. But things got better subsequently. School's fun with them with our inside secrets as well. MEGAAAAA. Hahahahaha.

Pee never fail to entertain us with her ever changing expressions. I'm going to post her unglam pictures! Hahahahaha. but selectively; lest she kills me.

Badminton

You look at pee and you'll know why we use most of our energy laughing

Nanabanana!

SLOIB. SLOIBER. SLOIBEST.

SLOIB and meeee

Actually, you can just focus on pee.

Pee combing beepanda's hairrrr

it's meeeee and peeeee

Pee just can't pass her day without provoking beepanda. We all know that.

Doing assignment at Raffles City shopping centre~

Because we had to prove that we did that damn project for 3 hours, and we didn't know how to set the timing for the camera, we had to take with this clock. I swear it's damn lame.

We can't wait to finish. Lol.

Don't ask me what i'm doing.

Some stranger took this for us can. We felt like some weird tourist who has never seen a big clock. Cause we specifically wanted the clock. Lol.

Pee and me is on the left :D

Pee's candid face.

We tried an alternative. We really didn't want to act like a swatch fan tourist anymore.

There are some others that I'm not going to post, lest pee kills me. Anyway, it has been a happy and fun year with them and hopefully after the tests we're still gonna catch up.

I love you all SLOIBS! Please don't reject my love anymore :(

:(

2010-02-11T07:41:00.003+08:00

There will bound to be a period where you just feel unhappy for no apparent reason; and I'm feeling it now. Maybe it's the stress, maybe it's the lack of sleep or maybe it's just everything around me. I need to look forward. I need self motivation which I'm lacking now.

I'm doing last minute studying again. Can someone just stab me dead now. Cause I don't have the courage to stab myself :(

2010-02-10T12:10:00.002+08:00

My dad's so funny. He was telling me that he saw the process of drama filming. "You see those people full of smiles uh. But when not filming, all their faces very black one, like tor ka por (floor cloth in hokkien)"

Lolololol. I think i can imagine. hahahahaha.

I think i'll not do well for SE&M paper tomorrow. Because if Mr.B doesn't like your face, you might just get 69 instead of 70 and 79 instead of 80. And if you skip his lectures frequently, good luck to you. You just hope he cannot remember your face which i think is highly possible. He has a memory of a goldfish. To conclude, the whole module is a joke.

Well, what to do? This is life.

And i think i seriously need some food therapy. My appetite's terrible. Why why why. I'm not even looking forward to cny goodies x.x I'm like forcing myself every meal. This sucks :(

Oh and the weather has been really bad recently, many people down with sorethroat. Drink like a camel and you'll be fine.

Okay. The will-never-taste-good herbal tea is calling me.

Bye earthlingsssss.

i want to be happy.

2010-02-09T12:02:00.003+08:00

I think I'll not do well for facilities maintenance. I always regret when i come out of the room. Why didn't I study harder? Well but after a few days, it'll be off my mind already :D

My appetite has been really weird recently. I want sashimi~ Maybe that will make my weird appetite go back to normal. Hahahahahaha.

Cny is only 5days away. I'm not looking forward at all. I think i'm going to hug my notes while the couples go dating away :( It's so true that as you grow older, the lesser you'll look forward to cny

I'm going to prepare to school already. SE&M make up lesson. And i'm feeling very very very hungry.

I want to be a happy girl; but can i? i look happy to you because you don't understand me (:

~!@#$%^&*

2010-02-06T16:57:00.004+08:00

During the test/exams period, the wires in my brain tend to get loose.

I realise that I remember a lot better when i write emotions in my notes.

For example, "If housekeeping is not done, a suspect package may go unnoticed. Then BOOMZ :("

I think it's crazy. But it helps.

And somehow, jay chou's songs helps me as well. So i created a whole playlist of his songs to tune in to while studying. Hahahaha.

And and. It's totally unfair. I stumbled upon some girl's journal. She said that her dad asked her to buy more clothes since her clothes are so cheap ($28-$30). Right. I want to reincarnate! Haha.

Time to get back to studying.

Byeeeeeeeee earthlingggggggs.

last chance

2010-02-04T20:01:00.002+08:00

I stupidly ask the salesperson at the watch shop to replace my calculator battery when mine's AA; which is available like anywhere. Lol.

Tests and exams are coming soon.

8th Feb - Facilities maintenance

11th Feb - Space and events management

Chinese new year

23rd Feb - 13th March would be the rest of the exams and the BCSS test x.x

It's almost a month full of tests and exams.

It's the last exam.

It's the last chance to pull my GPA.

2010-01-26T05:54:00.002+08:00

Tests in two weeks.

Exams in a month's time.

I haven't finish my CNY shopping.

I haven't start studying.

I permed my hair like magi mee.

I like my magi mee hair:)

confused

2010-01-15T09:14:00.002+08:00

As time passes by, I'm getting more and more confused.
Maybe you can say I don't know what I want or I'm just not in the right state of mind.
I really can't differentiate right from wrong now. Am I doing the right thing? Or am i not?
If only someone can tell me.

Many thoughts are running through my brain now and they only sum up to one thing.
Then again, I'm confused. I'm not sure if it's the right or wrong thing.
Tired of thinking.

Can i just go into hibernation?

weared out.

2010-01-12T19:03:00.002+08:00

When my entry only has a few lines, everyone knows that it's an emo entry. This is not excluded.

Feel really weared out.
Tired of everything.
everything.

Not there yet

2010-01-06T13:58:00.003+08:00

I didn't attend school today. The headache's killing me soon. It came out of nowhere yesterday. Panadol doesn't help at all. It hurts so much that you feel like smashing your head on the watermelon. At least if you don't suffer any concussion after that, there's watermelon to eat. Lol.

Got back the results already. Like what the title says, not there yet. I really need to work hard for the final exam. But it's a relief that i didn't fail pm2 which i seriously thought i would. 57marks is really low but alot better than failing. That's how lousy it is. HAHA.
Got 71 for space which i'm already contented considering the paper itself. Lol. Got 80 for both valuation and pfm. 87 for fm and 95 for property law. But 80 doesn't mean it's very good. Because the average for valuation for the class is 80. LOL. so i'm just average. Time to really pull my socks damn high. Last 2 months (:

Okay i need to rest my head and drink the will-never-taste-good herbal tea.

Bye all (:

say bye to 2009

2010-01-01T18:23:00.003+08:00

2009;

1) I completed poly year 2

2) I went Australia for attachment

3) I finished more than half of poly year 3

4) I picked up locking and electric guitar

5) I had more problems than 2008

Of course 2009 was far more than that. But the mundane school life is really not worth any mention apart from the finally-getting-better results and the finally ending final year project. What's left now is the remaining 2 months before we all graduate and start on a brand new journey. The guys will enlist while the rest either study or enter the workforce. I already planned whats after graduation. Hope everything goes well.

Relationship was on a roller coaster ride all year round. Countless of quarrels. Till a point i nearly gave up. It's never easy to maintain a relationship. It require efforts from both sides. It tires and stresses you out at the same time. Sometimes, the stress is so enormous that you think of giving up. You wonder if you still have the feelings for the person, you're sick of all the quarrels and stress and you think of giving up. But yet, giving up is never easy as well. But of course, it would be a different case if you've never taken it seriously. Well. I'm not going to hope that everything will be fine. I let nature take it's course.

Family problems increased as well. But as usual. Money is the problem. There's no point saying much about money problems. Having money would solve it. Full stop.

Year 2009 has been tough for me as compared to 2008 in all aspects. I hope things would get better in 2010. Life's tiring.

Anyway, seems like i didn't write a resolution for year 2009 last year. Nevermind. I shall write a new resolution for year 2010.

1) A healthy lifestyle

2) More efforts in kinship, friendship and relationship.

3) Better results

4) Learn a new language.

5) Touch my guitar more

6) More locking and learn the rest of the dance styles

7) 4kgs off my fats.

8) Earn lots of $$$$$

Thats about all.

Bye earthlings.

R.I.P beetle!

2009-12-27T06:35:00.003+08:00

If someone were to film down how i try to kill the flying beetle a few minutes ago and show me now, i'll laugh my head off.

I can't believe i can't find a bloody insecticide when i needed it so badly. The irritating flying beetle hid behind my television and i ran from the left side to the right side to look for it. I rolled the newspaper and was determined to hit it once i see it. After awhile, it finally showed it's irritating face. But i didn't have the courage to hit it. I threw paper balls at it, sprayed deodorant and even hit the floor. NONE WORKED.

I finally sum up my courage and threw the rolled newspaper but i missed :/ i think i screamed and jumped. Lol. I calmed down and took back the newspaper. After a few more minutes i guess. I FINALLY SUM UP ALL OF MY COURAGE TO HIT IT. i'm not sure if i hit it. There's nothing on the newspaper, no dead body found :/

Okay while blogging, i saw it again. It's really getting on my nerves. Without hesitation, i hit it continuously. I think it's dead. Rawrrr. I WIN. Sweet victory. HAHAHA.

R.I.P BEETLE. Be a human in your next reincarnation!

Christmas

2009-12-24T08:32:00.003+08:00

Let me write an early entry for christmas. I guess i'll be sleeping it away. Maine's working, clara's celebrating friend's birthday, evelyn is with friends and he's overseas. What a christmas :(

But at least i'll have my parents with me. Been staying home a lot this holiday and have been talking to them a lot too. It somehow feels good. I feel closer to them. And because of my bro's new job, we've been talking a lot as well. I kind of like that feeling. A family which ought to be this way a long ago.

On the brighter side, fyp will be handed in on the first week of school. Finally! Been working on it since start of last sem. I can't say i did a lot, but i can't say i didn't do a lot as well. Lol. But one thing for sure, i'm super relieved that it'll be over soon. So that i can concentrate on the last exam of the term. My dad can't wait for me to go brave the wind and rain outside. Lol. But i look forward more to the taiwan trip. Lol.

Merry christmas earthlings~
it's drizzling as usual (:

2009-12-13T07:25:00.003+08:00

The last mst of poly life is over.
I'm not going to care how i fared. Okay obviously very bad.

On a brighter side, we've just booked the tickets to taiwan.
I'm going taiwan with py, deb and my panda~
Like finally comfirmed the date. Will be going next year may.
So near yet so far. Another half a year later.

HALF A YEAR -.-

screwed

2009-12-11T06:59:00.002+08:00

I think i screwed all my tests and i think i'll screw the one later as well.
Really have no idea at all how will the questions be like.
And i'm going to fail project management. I'm sure. I'm more than happy enough to even get 50.

I saw a dog that day. And i bet it ate my motivation.

never right.

2009-12-04T09:04:00.003+08:00

How can i not say that whatever i do is always wrong?
I just feel like saying forget it; Just forget it.
Sometimes, i just don't know how to do or what to do.
And sometimes, i don't even know the reason.
The problem lies with me.
Maybe too many things are happening.

I miss the happy carefree days.

Read if you've the patience

2009-11-27T12:14:00.004+08:00

I miss the carefree days at Aussie. The grass is always greener at the other field. I shouldn't be blogging at this time but i just can't stay focused with a whole lot of things running in my brain. ~~Tests. Fyp. Guitar. Dance. Friends. Money.~~

It's actually not that difficult to realise that true friends are hard to find. Especially those who stay with you through thick and thin. It doesn't hurt to lose hi-bye friends; but not when it's friends. But well, we all move on. Cause when the other hand does not reciprocate, the reason's lost.

True friends are all we need in life. Or maybe life's too real that it's not even possible to find a friend. Unless you mean those who stabs u even when you're looking. I visited the dentist about a week back. She kept telling me that life is not a bed of roses. How true. When the people around you keep telling you how the real life is or when you meet one hypocrite yourself, you can't help agreeing how real life can get.

But I'm glad that guitar exist. I got to admit that i've been neglecting my guitar that my mum stuffed it into the storeroom. I'm going to rescue it when my tests end. Excuses; maybe. I sometimes dread going for lessons, but i can't deny that it feels good to be strumming when the stress is heavy on your back. It kills the stress. I must keep the passion going.

Guitar aside. I haven't been locking for a long time. I haven't been doing that happy dance for near 2 months already. I miss that happy dance. It'll resume as well after tests. I must proof to my dad that i did not inherit his genes.

Okay enough for this very long post. Bye earthlings.

2009-11-17T23:26:00.003+08:00

Was leaving the station and heading towards class.
I saw this guy infront of me, holding his laptop and playing some game while walking.
I kpo-ed and went to see what game he playing.
ITS POKEMON!
Wah. My jaw dropped. Walking while playing pokemon on his laptop.
And while going down the escalator, he can even buy pokeballs. LOL to the max.

大家都想做一个能做自想做的事情的人。

sigh

2009-11-13T09:09:00.002+08:00

Finally no school on friday :D
But need to go somewhere even further. Lol.
Hougang to interview the residents :(
Faster get it done then no need go back anymore!

School's been busy and all the morning lessons are draining my energy.
It'll be a miracle to have insomnia right now can. Lolol.

And i really really wish that 2012 is the doomsday.
Call me emo or whatever.
Life is really a chore. I can't and will never appreciate life.
So please make 2012 the doomsday. Tomorrow also can. HAHA.

Bye fellow earthlings :D

我的心寒了。

2009-11-04T14:39:00.002+08:00

Many times, its not that we're not blessed.
It's just that we don't appreciate.

Updates

2009-11-01T20:06:00.003+08:00

Haven't been updating for awhile.
School's started for 2 weeks and it's really hectic. Tutorials are like projects and projects are still like projects -.-
Been procrastinating fyp as well. For these, i can't wait to graduate.

And what to do after graduating? I need to plan really soon.

Today's the 1st of the month. Another 4 days to our one year anniversary. Time really flies.
We survived and will still survive:)

Went back to tkd training on friday. Been almost a year since i last trained. If allowed, i'll dig out my yellow belt. I forgot almost everything. And my muscles are aching like crazy :/

And i haven't been practicing locking for a long long long time. I need to soon. Otherwise waste my $220 attending the two courses.

I think my summary skills have improved. Can i retake o levels? Maybe i'll score better. Lol.

Lastly, i realise that..

The most difficult thing to do in life is

to remain unchanged.

Sunday

2009-10-11T22:48:00.002+08:00

Just came home from jurongpoint. Met maine and evelyn :DDD Clara was not free.
Had dinner together and talkeddddd. Very long since i last met them. I think the last time was on my birthday and maine mia-ed.
Okay. Thats all i want to blog. Lol.

bbq with aussie clique

2009-10-10T02:37:00.007+08:00

BBQ-ED with aussie clique at west coast park. Including huiying, debbie, peiyan, charles, peiqi, peiching, shiya, valerie, vivy, weijie, yeejia, melissa and keith. Okay actually i don't know why i list everyone. Lol.

This is a compilation of the havaianas taken by yeejia. Lol she wanted everyone with havaianas to take a picture together but no one wanted to take with her. So she went around and took one by one. LOL.

I'm lazy to type captions. Lol
Anyway, we had too much fried rice and we ended up giving it to the Bangladesh. Lol.
Yea that's all. Had fun and thanks charles and weijie for sending the rest of the people back home :DDDD
Bye earthlings~

timetable

2009-10-09T08:34:00.006+08:00

I just saw the timetable for next semester.
SIAN INFINITE.

Monday and tuesday 9am to 5pm (9-5 job?) 1pm/12pm break
Wednesday 12pm to 3pm (no more going home early) no break
Thursday 8.30am to 3.30pm (very early can x.x) 12.30 break
Friday 3pm to 5pm (what kind of weird timing is this -.-) no break

The modules all seems more difficult =/

Monday to friday blues already =/

Enjoy the remaining holiday while i still can~

Phobia 2

2009-10-08T12:36:00.003+08:00

Watched Phobia 2 with xinmin, lici and shida yesterday.
The morale of the storieS should be karma i think.
And it's not that scary. Just very gore. Lucky we had dinner beforehand -.-
But the last story is super hilarious. All the people in the theater were laughing like crazy.
I think i laughed through almost the whole of story 5. Lol.
And the rating for the movie is 1/5. I think that one is given for the last story. Lolol.

School will be starting soon.
Sian =/

sian!

2009-09-29T17:17:00.001+08:00

AHHHHHHHHHH
SIANNNNNNNN
Stupid fyp -.-

happy

2009-09-23T11:08:00.005+08:00

Watched G force 3D yesterday.
Movie is not bad but the 3D glasses make me feel uncomfortable.
I think i'll rate it around 3.5-4/5 ^^

Went dessert story for one of my favourite dessert ^^
Herbal jelly with honey~
Walked around town before going bugis for steamboat :D

Sinful x 27365474597
Diet starts tomorrow. HAHA.

And the semester result is out~
I'm happyyy with my results :D
Though my cumulative still suck.
Got 2 As, 2 B+s and 1 C+ and a B for gems.
Compared to many, this may be lousy results. But i'm super happy with it.
Yeaaaa~

Must 加油 for the next and last sem after the holidays ^^
Hope everyone's happy with their results as well.
Yeaaaa~

Bye earthlings~

bored

2009-09-21T19:34:00.005+08:00

Today is a public holiday, a day which is no different from any other holiday.

And today, i'm bored. Lol.

I've decided that i shall own this pair of Air Y-3 hight top. Okay it means i'm going to buy it~ lol.
The picture looks nice; i hope it looks nice in real life as well ^^

And i may just be the next fan of Mr.B. lol

blue red yellow cap :D

Mr.B looks damn cute laaa~ Crime fighter^^

Anyway, the last song on my blog has reaaaaally cute lyrics.

美麗的粒粒皆辛苦

很故意不接電話
很刻意不打電話
妳讓我著迷但是心不美麗
總是要讓妳開心
卻覺得自己像廁所的報紙
ㄧ張ㄧ張被妳用盡

妳說我不了解妳
應該是妳太善變
對不起說了好幾百遍
可是我現在比較想叫妳去吃大便

也許在妳心裡面我像是一碗泡麵
吃完就丟很方便不太花錢
但是在我心裡面你像是高級餐點
沒錢去吃也不敢點

The part in red just makes me lolololol.

Yeaa~

Bye earthlings~

Suntec dance

2009-09-21T00:57:00.000+08:00

Went to watch the suntec dance competition.
One word. DOPE.
Dope dance; dope dancers
Inspired to be a better dancer :D

time tells a person's character.
i know what to do from now on.

goodnight world :)

Updates(:

2009-09-20T04:24:00.010+08:00

I GRADUATED FROM LOCKING COURSE l and ll :D

This is my certificates of completion for both locking course 1 and course 2 ^^

And my funky locking instructor and course mates :D

From a class size of about 30 during course l to about only 10 during course ll; from learning choreo from fong to choreographing our own to freestyling; from learning basic five moves to learning power moves, it has all been fun. Hope everyone will continue locking and attend open classes together ^^ yeaaa~

It may be a little late to blog about my birthday celebration... HAHA but i guess it's better late than never. Sisters celebrated with me on the 13th ^^ Went to top one and they got me a birthday cake ^^ Had fish mahatten for dinner and went back. It was a simple celebration but i appreciate it. They got me a wallet from renoma which was just in time. Because pepper lunch skinned my wallet the day before :( But it's okay. Got new wallet to use ^^ May be a little late~ but thanks again sisters ^^
(Pictures are still with maine :/)

Celebrated with DubbewQue (lol) on the 14th. Went Queensway to find shoes. But i can't find. Damn sad okay. Up till now still can't find :(((((((
But the jap buffet at night cheered me up totally. Been waiting for it since i don't know when. The sashimi there is loveeeeeeeeeeeeee~

loveee :D

This is the mini birthday "cake" bf got for me ^^

Yeaaa thanks for the celebration and all who remembered my birthday and wished me ^^

Yeaaa~ and while rummaging the pictures in my cam, i found these 2 pictures!

It's torres! HAHAHA. So cute can ^^

I'm so going to support spain during world cup next year. HAHA GO SPAIN :D

And the last thing i want to blog is the current song i'm addicted to! It's the first song on my blog.
Music and lyrics by 黃榮炮樂團. For those who watch 超级星光大道5 and know 曾梓淞.

He damn man la :D

He is the lead singer in 黃榮炮 and all the songs in my blog are by them. I super like the first one ^^

一定是你太醜

不要理我
我很害羞
不要踩我我會變扁
不要摘我
我會死掉
我是含羞草希望妳也含羞

你很討厭
這很明顯
原因不是因為你常踩到大便
我很害羞
你像隻狗
跟前跟後覺得自己好威風

你為什麼為什麼為什麼那麼醜
我為什麼為什麼為什麼那麼帥
但是你有女朋友我在吃泡菜
這真的讓我覺得自己很爛

你為什麼為什麼為什麼那麼醜
我為什麼為什麼為什麼那麼帥
但是你有女朋友我在吃泡菜
這真的讓我覺得自己很爛

^^ the lyrices are in 反体 though. So addicted to this song laaa~ ^5 to anyone who also like this song. HAHA.

I'm going to stop here already. Post damn long already.

Byeee all.

好好照顾身体^^

Celebration

2009-08-09T13:54:00.004+08:00

Rahhhhhhhhh.
I've a strong urge to killlllll nowwww.
Stupid data. All over the place and even have missing data -.-
Stupid FYP.

Been very busyyy the last week.
3 presentations in a weeek -.-
BUT. I'VE FINALLY GRADUATED FROM GEMS!
Together with Lici. We took all 4 gems tgt :D
Happy! Gem's a stupid thing :x

Anw. Celebrated jemaine's bithday on the 4th of Aug.
2 days before her birthday thoughh.
Took the flyerrrrr. My first time.

Please bear with my 2 megapix handphone cam =/

On the way downnnnn

I feel highhhh. Look at the dist between me and the road :D

I totally love the red track:DDD (took me a few tries before i capture the red one -.-)

Sisters <3

It was a greaaaaat day. Though i had to rush CA tutorial right after i reached home that day =/

tests are coming sooooon. Gotta start some serious studying alr. hopefully. heh.

jiayou everyone (:

Oschool recital. Should i just give it a try? Hmmmm.

angry bush

2009-08-03T21:03:00.001+08:00

I banged into the bush.
The bush got angry and cut me.
What can i say?
My fault for banging into the bush -.-

I skipped BS today. Pure laziness.
IT research proj ppt was okay i guess.
My ppt skills just cannot make it.

Tests coming reallll soooon.
2weeks.

多么痛的领悟

2009-08-02T08:28:00.002+08:00

It's ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS me.
Failure.
Isn't it?

Sometimes when i think back,
i can't help but tear.
I really don't know how much i can do.

累。真的很累。

even the sun don't shine

2009-08-01T01:02:00.003+08:00

Recently, i don't know why,
there seems to be a big dark cloud on top of my head,
refusing to go.

There's nothing to look forward to.

I can't even force a smile.

Sighhhh.

sian^infinite

2009-07-30T21:46:00.001+08:00

At some point of your life,
you'll bound to feel sian.
You don't know why you feel so sian.
You reckon that it's the lack of sleep.
So you sleep and sleep like no tomorrow.
You wake up feeling empty.
You don't know whether this is better than sian.
In the midst of thinking, you feel sian again.
This time, you tell yourself it must be the weather.
So you eat watermelon like it's the last watermelon on earth.
Cooling down, you start to feel full.
Sian.. Ate too much.
Sian.. You're still feeling sian.
You try to watch tv and laugh at the slightest thing;
hoping to evoke some happiness.
After laughing awhile,
You think..
"Ayeeee. What am i laughing at uh? Am i really laughing?"
You got no ans. You feel even more sian.
After all the futile tries, you try the last thing.
BLOG.
But to realise that after typing so long..
YOU STILL FEEL SIAN.
LOL.

Results

2009-07-28T21:35:00.005+08:00

YAY NAPFA ENDED!
My result's =/

Standing broad jump 176 i think - 3 points
Incline pull up: 18 - 5 points
Sit and reach: 49 - 5 points
Sit up: 31 - 5 points
Shuttle run: 10.8s - 5 points
2.4: 16.26 i think - 2 points
Total: 25points.

Before you think it's a gold.. Look at my 2.4. It's a DDDDD. SILVERRR :D
(i went back to check again. IM SO GLAD im 18 LA. If im 19 means i'll get bronze. HAHAHAHA)

Sad initially but it's okay. I'm still proud of myself. HAHA.

On the other side..
Guitar's getting more and more interesting and fun :D

And i'm looking forward to the 1st lesson of locking course 2.

BUT EXAMS IS COMING REALL SOOOON.

X.X

i love to lock

2009-07-26T07:17:00.002+08:00

Practiced 2.4 on friday.
I couldn't finish the last 200m.
Ate too much before i ran and i felt like vomiting =/
My timing would be like 15.30mins;
which is very bad =/
Hope i can do better on the test itself.
*fingers crossed

My legs were already aching before i went to the last lesson of my dance course ytd.
After the 1hr choreography, it was still okay.
It's now that i feel the aches.
Every part of me is aching x.x

Hope the aches will recover on tuesday!

Last but not least.

I love to lock :D

PROJECTSS

2009-07-23T22:04:00.002+08:00

26 days to the first test!

IT test will start on the 18th followed by land planning on the 20th.
I'm starting to feel the pressure.
Not mentioning the newly added landplanning project.
I hereby conclude that year 3 is filled with projects.

Just "done" with the inputing of data for fyp.
Those people are seriously not helping in any way;
by messing up the sequence of the date =/

September faster come!

four things

2009-07-09T06:43:00.001+08:00

4 things to remember.

I hope i can.

Sighhh.

try. tried. trying.

2009-07-07T21:20:00.002+08:00

Eyes closed.
A song on repeat.

I'm really trying very hard.

2009-07-07T08:16:00.003+08:00

I think you have some serious hallucination over there.
Please visit a doctor if you must. Thanks.

Yes i'm talking about someone. Someone from my former buddy class.
Just because i look at you means i'm gossiping about you?
Then am i going to kill you if i look at you with a knife in my hand?
LOL.

And i think you really do have skin as thick as my house door.
Come on. Pretty girls are everywhere and many are even prettier than you.
What makes you think i envy you?
Thick skin right? LOL.

Whateverrrrrr. This is just a joke to me ^^
Happy hallucinating!

I'm so so sick of studyingggg. Projects. Projects and moreeeee projects.
FYP FYP FYP.
I'm dreading school when it's only the second week of school. -.-
SO BAD.

But at least life's been peaceful except for schoolwork.

And i finally got my guitar!

I can't post any picture. Like what other bloggers are facing -.-

2009-07-01T14:51:00.002+08:00

I think my results is like my internet connection.
Lousy, frustrating and disappointing. Lol.
I've 1 A, 1 B+, 1 B and 2 C+. I just don't like the Cs.
I need to buck up alreadyyyyy.
Otherwise about 2 months later i'll be blogging about my lousy exam results.

HAHA

2009-06-26T14:33:00.002+08:00

My head feels like someone prying the durian shells open.

It hurrrrrts :((

Must be due to my lack of sleep and the inconsistent sleeping time.

Supposed to meet peiyan and the rest for steamboat.

Guess it'll be next time already.

Panadol. Here i come.

karma. karma. karma.

2009-06-25T22:57:00.001+08:00

Another session at clarke quay.

Did basics again..

This will be the last session.

School will be starting.

It's gonna get busy.

Watched land of the lost.

It's a dumb show.

KARMA

2009-06-21T16:37:00.002+08:00

I'm having terrible rashes and the
itch is getting me..KILLED very sooon.
And i look like a monster :((

And this must be...

HAHAHA.

Whats worst is.. it comes all at a go.
Diarrhea-ed..Vomited..
What else?

2009-06-19T00:30:00.002+08:00

And i changed my blogskin again. 喜新厌旧.
I dont know why i added the rockband smileys.
It totally don't match my blogskin.
Maybe mismatching helps in evoking your sense of sight.

Attended the session at clarke quay today.
Practiced upbounce, basic 5s, some footwork and
learnt scootbot and skeeter rabbit.
I think my twirls are average, points are errrr,
locks are somehow okay, headroll and pace is disaster.
And i can't do proper upbounce till now.

But i think dance is cool. It is a way of expressing another you,
And dance is freedom. You do it your way, your style.
A taste of freedom and soul searching; when you just let go of everything and dance.
With no troubled thoughts in your mind, feel the music, feel the inner you.

Just a random thought. I've never felt this way before.

Crushed.

2009-06-09T08:55:00.007+08:00

Weeeeee. 100th post! If i hadn't start a new blog, i would have reached 100 alr.

Met up with the aljunied town council people ytd,
to talk about the zero litter plan thing.
Trust me. This is gonna be the most challenging project of my poly life.
It's as complicated as my mother's aunt's brother's
son's wife's mother's sister's daughter x.x

I DREAD FYPPPPPPP =/

And Lici's down.
All thanks to that bastard. Feel so ~!@#$%^ for her.
Girl uh, though i can't understand how you feel,
but i hope you'll gather yourself back and be even stronger.
Do something to distract yourself and take care of yourself uh!

Sighhhh. I've fyp, IT terms, IT proj and CA to do,
over the short 3 weeks holiday. I wont even call this holiday.

It's like 1st day of exam, i would be thinking..
After 4 days and i can start my sleeping marathon :D

2nd day of exam, i would be thinking, after 3 days,
i would be going shopping :DD

3rd day of exam. Okay grace. 2 more days to go.

4th day of exam. Ughhh my brain's dying.
1 last day before enjoyment!!

Last day of exam. YES. LAST PAPER!
And you can sleep to death :DDD

BUT NO. THERE'S FYP. F-Y-P. -.-

Okay enough of rants.

This is taken during wednesday or something.

I'm trying hard to make this picture-less blog more picture-ful. -.-

Anw. I miss sisterrrrrs. SATURDAYYYYY. Can't wait! :DDD

And sometimes, things just change overnight,
that it makes you speechless.

2009-05-30T17:29:00.001+08:00

Why am i always so slow in learning? Sighhhh..

累。

快要没知觉了。

2009-05-28T08:52:00.002+08:00

Everything around me is seriously tiring me out.

Give me a break...

~~the overstretched rubberband broke.~~

2009-05-26T06:02:00.002+08:00

YES. ITS 6AM IN THE MORNING NOW.

Karma must have found me that my head hurts frequently and my stomach rebels like there's no tomorrow.

Exams is just next week and i'm not studying. Whatever happened to my determination to work hard? I need my determination to be back.

FYP is a disaster *Full stop

Yesterday was my 7th guitar lesson. How fast. Close to 2 months of learning. And i am still pretty noob at everything. Even as simple as reading the tab :/
I need to get a guitar soon.

Saturday was the first lesson of locking. We did nothing but rythm. A class of 33 people. How cool is that. And i've never had a single funk music in my playlist. It's classic. Try typing James Brown on youtube. You'll know what i mean.
Nevertheless, I'm looking forward to the next lesson.

Last but not least. MY LAPTOP DIED ON ME. First, it was the charger. After which, the pin from the laptop came off. SO COOL RIGHT. And now, it's lying on the ICU bed awaiting operation. And operation would mean $$$ flying away :((

And and and... I miss my sisters, xinmin, lici and shida.

2009-05-20T17:28:00.003+08:00

Locking and popping :DD
The 2 in black are mostly doing locking; and the 2 in white are mostly doing popping.

Oschool's locking :D

2009-05-17T00:03:00.002+08:00

Why are things becoming more and more complicated?

Life is getting tougher.

Nothing seems to make me happy.

你不是真正的快乐。
你的笑只是你穿的保护色。

2009-05-13T21:46:00.000+08:00

I'm... very tired.

2009-05-11T22:22:00.004+08:00

Very lazy to update.

So "happening" recently.
Worked for 2 weekend; including LABOUR DAY. One day 12 hrs. 5 days? 60hrs.
Thats why i say im a super girl. Feel so exhausted. Especially when there's school the next day.
My job was a bore. I totally don't like the isetan staff there. And the oh-so-irritating security.
He scolded me for some pea stuff. And walks ard like a king. OH COME ON. You're not from the top management; for goodness sake.
And the 2 bittergourd supervisor of isetan. CAN FAINT. EQ ZERO.
Last day of work which is yesterday, 5mins before closing, i went to one of the supervisor to sign my time sheet. Just before she signed, bittergourd NO 1 said. "Cannot sign now. Sign now means the timing now". LIKE WTH? Then everytime i wait for u to finish ur stuff then sign my timesheet, are you going to give me 10mins extra pay? -.- 5mins of $5.50. How much laaaaaa X.X

But the job was another experience. All the workers there are seriously spidermen and women. I think im a trainee spiderwoman. And people who don't know how "happening" it is inside the room expects their shoes to be brought out in like 2mins? More than that and they complain -.- They are best at complaining. I'm sure.

Spidermen and women's tool.

The Ulu

Now that work has ended something else happened. I just wonder. Why simple things are made so complicated? I miss the innocence and simplicity in the past. Everything now is so complicated. Sometimes, human beings are just so scarry. I don't know.

And why do some people like to seek attention so much? And when they fail, they put the blame on other people. Is attention really that important? Going around telling people how pathetic you're and then have people sympathize you. Sighhh.

Jugglinggggggg.

2009-04-29T16:16:00.003+08:00

6 more days to 6th month. <3

My 92nd post :D
School's started for a week near 2 weeks.
No signs of laziness YET. HAHA.
School's alright. Lessons are still boringg. But classmates are quite friendly.

I miss my sisters, i miss xm,lici, shida, and i miss.. australia :((((

2009-04-19T16:29:00.005+08:00

I totally love this blog skin! Black yet colourful.

Decided to continue blogging.

Been rotting for 2weeks now. OITP ended in a flash of lightning. Thinking back.. so much has happened.

21 people getting along. Ain't easy; but we survived(: and and and. I totally miss the weather there. The weather in singapore is getting me killed very soon.

School is starting tomorrow. The start of year 3. No longer the same class as xinmin, lici and shida. I'm so going to miss them. My poly mates for 2 years :( Everything we did together, i'll not forget (:

You all will be missed!

And so. Tomorrow marks the start of year 3. My last chance of working hard and pulling my pathetic gpa. I never fail to promise myself to work hard everytime school starts. And i also never fail to fail my own promise. How cynical. No more redundant promises.

Today is the last day to rot. Watch tv like there's no tomorrow. Blog shop. Well just sit ard doing nothing. And blog hop too. Been awhile since i did that.
I'm happy to see that you've found someone who appreciates you. Really glad (:

Lastly.

I never liked to write the start and end of any post. Because i've no idea how to..